My gifts as a creator and writer (What gift can I expect to develop this year--2020)

Back in December, I missed the Yule Tarot Blog Hop because I was still dealing with the mental turmoil and drama that I received from "Cos-Neo"* after one of its "Council" members read the first edition of my Public Wiccan Ritual and Pagan Community Building book and told the rest of the Council, her opinion of my book which caused the Council to dog-pile me with a whole bunch of stuff that I was guilty of doing--essentially a nuclear melt-down with people screaming Disrespect, Conflict of Interest, and that I was trying to take over the entire occult community of Denver, Colorado--causing the Council to come up with a trumped-up charge that they had ignored for fifteen months--I performed a public Wiccan ritual while under the influence of medical marijuana, endangering one and all who attended--to force me to resign from an organization and event that I have been involved with for two decades plus.

[* Not the real name of the organization which must be kept secret at all costs because their Community Service is more valuable than mine--or so I have been told.]

Given the fuss, this must be what happened, right?

I am doing this spread now because the Imbolc Tarot Blog Hop builds upon the December TBH.

The Prompt spread was:

Card One: What gift am I ignoring in myself?
Card Two: How can I bring that gift forward more?
Card Three: What gift am I over-relying on?
Card Four: How can I ease up on that gift?
Card Five: What gift can I expect to develop next year?

There is absolutely no way that the Cos-Neo mess is bleeding through this, right?

Card one: Magician--I have always felt a little bit of an occult expert fraud, despite having a fair lineage and a good amount of training, as well as having witnessed a few hundred rituals (both as a performer and a student).

Card two: Success after strife--basically, I need to keep moving forward and just ignore the reaction of Cos-Neo which was rooted in their insecurity and inability to compete with me on a level playing field.

Card three: I am over-relying on my voice as a "happy little cynic," having written dozens of posts detailing the sins and craziness of dubious occult leaders, such as the Great Gherkin.

Card four: To ease up on the cynicism, I need to think of my work more from the viewpoint of a ritualist and esoteric teacher; I need to expound upon the mysteries more than I do on the evils of unacceptable behavior.

Card five: Okay, I am guessing on this one--good work habits and a healthier way of viewing my work without my ego getting involved.