Wife is wrong about the food being here (How Morgan spent his snow day)

Long story short:

We did not get the food, and Morgan got to spend a delightful half-hour in the snow while under the influence of pot.

Short story long:

So my wife ordered Wendy's (yes, we eat fast food) through DoorDash. My wife told me that the driver was on their way, so I went into the kitchen and basically stood there staring at my front gate while a herd of cats wondered why I wasn't feeding them in a timely manner. 

Then my wife came through the kitchen and told me that the driver was here and looking for our house. I went outside and stood by our mailbox. It had started to snow. The mailbox is only a yard away from the front gate--I can see over it--and if a driver was actually out there, they would be able to see me.

Have I mentioned that it had started snowing?

When the snow had hit a quarter of an inch on my hoodie--after I am not sure how many minutes, but enough for a quarter inch of snow--I decided that I was tired of waiting. So I go back into the house, and my wife catches me coming back in and says, "They are here. They are looking for you!"

So I went back outside. I couldn't have been in the house for more than a minute. Heck, if a minute has passed, then time must really fly around my house. And to insure that I could be seen, I positioned myself in the middle of the street.

And I paced.

In the middle of the street.

Dressed in a hoodie and sandals.

While it continued snowing.

I am out there for an inch of snow.

At some point, I start talking to myself. I know that my wife knows that I am outside because I can see her in the kitchen. And I suspect that my cats are losing their minds. I start wondering what the neighbors will think, if they look outside and see the crazy pothead pacing. . . int the snow. . . like some crazy person who is on dope.

And yes, I was high. My wife knew that I took some medical marijuana. I done it in front of her because I was coming down with a migraine--probably because of the weather change. The weather that I was now out in. Finally, I walked into the house while muttering, "If I have to be out there, I need my camera--this needs to go on film." Because that is what you want to do when you lose your mind and are pacing in the snow waiting for a non-existent food delivery, you want to get it on film to preserve the moment where you completely lost your mind.

I come into the house covered in snow. My wife sees me, and asks me why I am not out there. I am guessing that the snow was invisible snow. Anyways, I put on my sneakers, grab my camera and go back outside. I film several minutes of me, losing my mind while on pot and waiting for a delivery in a snow storm.

After a certain point, I go back inside, having came to the conclusion that the food delivery is not happening. Upon coming back in, my wife tells me that the order had been cancelled by DoorDash, but we are still being charged for it. 

DoorDash is blaming me for the failure.

Because the driver could not find or house.

Funny, I was outside for thirty minutes, and a good inch and a half of snow, maybe two--all of which occurred within throwing distance of the street. I suspect that the driver could not even find our cross-street. But it is my fault. Funny how things like that happen.

So what did I get for all this effort?

Yes, that is right--a f***ing cold.